The Problem With Being Me
by xmiracle-milex
Summary: When you've put the horrors of your past behind you and moved on from who you were, what happens if someone turns up to remind you of that past and reawaken you to the person you once were and maybe, deep in your heart, want to be again. HGBZ
1. Being Samantha

A/N - Hope you enjoy this. It might get a bit mushy in places but in the end this is a Hermione/Blaise fic NOT Hermione/Draco - soooooo overused (but still good to read)

Disclaimer - I own nothing of this fic except the plot and Samantha (sort of). The rest belongs to the totally fabulous J.K.Rowling.

Chapter 1 - Nowhere to hide

Samantha Perry sat down hard on the checked picnic blanket, which was spread over the soft sand on Penzance's main beach. She kicked off her sandals and edged forward to dabble her feet in the cool waters of the sea.

Her life seemed pretty good on the outside, by anyone's standards. She was tall and slim, with blonde hair that came down to the middle of her back. The 22-year old had just finished Cambridge University with a very respectable law degree - Cum Laude in fact. She was one of those girls who were just too darn popular for their own good really - especially with men. She was clever, sporty, musical, one of the people who seem to be brilliant at everything they do. But those people, she knew, attracted enemies as quickly as they did friends. Fortunately for her, Sam was also very kind and helpful and didn't get many enemies. Not any more.

Lost in her own thoughts, Sam absent-mindedly twisted a strand of her honey-blonde hair round her finger, contemplating the fact that that same hair seemed to get progressively darker and browner every day. She couldn't let it do that. Definitely not. Back to the tried and tested hair dye and lemon juice method then, she thought, almost laughing. She stopped giggling as soon as she started though. It was certainly not a laughing matter. Her hair was her shield, her protection. Without her hair there was nowhere in the living world she could hide. Without her hair to shield her from the past, there was only one option left…


	2. Big Trouble

**A/N – **Hope you like this chapter. Please review with any comments, I do appreciate constructive criticism but not meaningless comments that don't help me at all, (Yes, I'm talking to 1 person here mainly, you know who you are) Help me make my stories better!

**Disclaimer – **Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I'd be out shopping with all my lovely cash wouldn't I!

_**Chapter 2 – Big Trouble**_

_Hermione Granger was in big trouble. BIG trouble. For the first time in her life, here in front of her, was a problem she couldn't solve. If it was anything else, she would be O.K., knowing there was an easy answer somewhere; she just had to find it. And find it she would, every time._

_But not here, not now, this wasn't a situation where she could find an easy answer. For there _is_ no easy answer to death, is there._

_She was about to slump onto the coach at The Burrow, when she was enfolded in a huge hug from Ginny. _

"_It wasn't your fault," whispered the youngest Weasley, right in Hermione's ear, "You mustn't think that. Ever. It truly, truly, wasn't your fault. You weren't stupid, you didn't do anything wrong. There's nobody to blame except Voldemort and the death-eaters and we beat them didn't we. We showed them."_

"_Yes.", the word was choked out as Hermione started to cry, hard and fast into Ginny's shoulder, "But maybe if we'd have beaten them sooner or if I'd have been there… maybe… just maybe…"_

_She couldn't carry on as the immovable, unchangeable reality that her two best friends would never see her or speak to her again, and that – as much as everyone said otherwise - it really was her fault, hit her. If she had been there, at that final confrontation with Voldemort and the few Death-Eaters that were left, maybe she could have saved them. Ron, at least. Maybe, not Harry, for what good was she against the feared Lord Voldemort, nothing. But she could have tried; all she wanted was the chance to try._

_She knew she couldn't go on any longer feeling like she had killed her best friends. But neither could she leave Ginny, without the only friend she had left, her protector, her guide. She thought hard, feeling the smaller girl's hug press into her, and knew it was the last time she would feel it. Ever._

_Hermione had made her decision. She pulled free of Ginny, her tears no longer a problem, she was past crying now, there were no tears left inside her if she'd wanted to cry. The problem now was how to get out. _

_She worked her way around the room, hugging people, consoling people, being consoled herself, whilst saying her silent goodbyes to everyone. It was hard though, unbelievably hard. Everyone, she had ever known and loved was in this room now and she knew she would never see any of them again._

_She silently slipped into the kitchen and out of the back door, taking nothing with her but the money in the pocket of her jeans; she walked to the nearest bus-stop and sat down. The first bus that came, she resolved, she would catch. She wanted to get as far away from there as possible, that much she knew._


	3. Fun and Games

**A/N – **Hope this isn't too confusing. All will become clear… hopefully. R&R please. Tell me what you think and how I can make it better! Thanks to everyone who's been supportive of my writing, especially Megan (Her pen-name is silly spoon!)

**Disclaimer – **I don't own anything that is owned by J.K.Rowling – surprisingly enough – including Harry Potter and all its characters. Blah, blah!

**Chapter 3 – Fun and Games**

Blaise Zabini was having a very bad day. He'd been dragged round this god-damned Muggle town for the last 4 hours, with his best friend, Draco Malfoy – if friend was the right word; it was times like this when Blaise felt more like Malfoy's personal slave. Malfoy hadn't even told him why they were there, but the determined look on his face reinforced what he had told Blaise in no uncertain terms earlier. It was important, that was all he was told he needed to know.

He'd protested of course - "How can I find whatever we're looking for, if I don't _know _what we're looking for! It's stupid." – but had been beaten down with a few cross words and the promise of deep trouble later if he didn't shut up _now_ and let Malfoy _concentrate! _

He felt like asking the same question again. It was clear they weren't going to find anything here. He had been steeling all his courage to speak for the last hour or so, and had just opened his mouth, when…

"There," smirked Malfoy, "Perfect" He pointed to a flight of steps carved into a cliff. At the bottom lay a clear beach.

"I've _still _no-idea, what you're talking about Malfoy. What exactly am I looking at?"

Malfoy moved until he was right next to Blaise. He pointed to the edge of the beach, just where the sand met the sea.

"See that girl," he was whispering into Blaise's ear now as they moved closer to the steps, "Her. That's why we're here"

Blaise stared at him in horror. His cheeks slowly flushed and he began shaking with anger. Malfoy sighed and waited for the explosion to come, as it inevitably would.

And it did.

"YOU BROUGHT ME ALL THE WAY HERE AND DRAGGED ME ROUND THIS STUPID, GOD FORSAKEN VILLAGE IN BLAZING HEAT FOR_ FOUR _HOURS, JUST SO YOU COULD LOOK AT SOME _GIRL_!" There were people looking at them with concern now, Blaise had been screaming at the top of his voice in the middle of a crowded street. Malfoy sighed; there was only one thing that would stop Blaise screaming again. He reached out and slapped Blaise, _hard, _in the face.

"Get a grip Zabini! – Blaise noted the use of his surname - Of course that's not why we're here you idiot. I wouldn't go out with her if you paid me!"

"Why not?" The reply came straight away, from his friend's mouth.

"Look at her a bit more closely. What do you see?"

Blaise looked. This was another time when he had no idea what Malfoy was talking about. He couldn't see anything remarkable. Except…

"Do we know her," he asked. She had the look of someone familiar, although he knew that he had never met her before – he would have remembered, she was stunningly pretty whatever Malfoy might say.

"Ah, finally Zabini. I see you have a brain at last."

"Well… why don't we talk to her?" Blaise ventured.

Another slap.

"Or maybe you don't have a brain. That was obviously a one-off. No… I think we can have a lot more fun if we don't talk to her for few days."

He whispered to Blaise exactly what he hadn't realised earlier and he then knew why the girl looked so familiar. His reaction was exactly the same as Malfoy's.

"Yes…," he drawled, "I think you're right. Let's leave her for a bit. We need a bit of fun in our lives."

The two boys turned to each other, identical smirks on their oh-so-different faces. Yes. They were definitely going to have some fun.


End file.
